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从书上看到这样一个故事：一个已婚的女子经常与其夫闹矛盾、打“冷战”，以前很深的夫妻感情逐渐变淡了，和睦的家庭有解体的危险，其主要原因就是妻子把丈夫管得太紧了，这不让去那也不让去，这不放心那也不不放心，很怕丈夫经常出去心跑野了会离开她，自己很苦恼，其夫也很厌烦。在无奈、苦恼之后，她去问自己的母亲：如何才能把男人拴住。其母没有马上回答，走到屋外抓把沙子回来让女儿看，适当用力握，沙子还在手中，但用力一攥，啥子都从指缝中流了出来，手中沙子所剩无几。女儿马上明白了其中的道理，按照此理与丈夫相处，从此夫妻恩恩爱爱，十分幸福。
很多女人对这个故事可能都知道，但对这个道理却不明白，总是不放心自己的丈夫，很怕丈夫被外面的花花世界所迷惑，很怕外面的女人把自己丈夫的心勾走，不让丈夫上网聊天，不让丈夫出去玩，出去时间稍长一点，就一个电话一个电话地催着回来，搞得丈夫在朋友跟前很没有面子，逐渐便产生了厌烦情绪，影响夫妻感情。
每个人都应该有自己的空间，每个人都有自己的朋友圈，家庭不是生活的全部，做妻子的应该理解自己的丈夫，不要在家唠唠叨叨，丈夫一出去就穷追不舍，非要把丈夫关在家里才感到放心，把丈夫的快乐都剥夺掉，这样会使自己的丈夫活得很累，在家里感到很压抑，很烦闷，甚至受不了，促使自己的丈夫离你而去。
管自己的丈夫是妻子的责任，放任不管不行，一味迁就不行，这样会把自己的丈夫惯出毛病，丈夫会对妻子越来越不重视，在外面会胆越来越大，越来越无所顾忌，逐渐心就野了，身心都不在这个家了，到那时管也来不及了；管得太紧也同样不行，不尊重丈夫的权利，不给他一定的自由，会使丈夫心里很反感，逐渐会使丈夫厌恶妻子，不爱这个家，可能更会使丈夫在外面寻找情感上的尉籍。管好丈夫是一门科学，关键是要把握一个度。就象放风筝一样，手里的线拉得太紧，风筝飞不起来，风筝就没有快乐，手不抓紧风筝的线，风筝就会飘得无影无踪，离你而去。你要让风筝飞起来，但让他飞多高由你自己掌控，感受高了，就把线收一收，拉紧一点，感到飞得低了，就把线放一放，以风筝的自由快乐飞翔，但又在你的掌控之中为原则。一个聪明、自信、有智慧的女人应该知道如何笼络住男人的心。
俗话说得好，管得住身，但难以管住心。管得住男人重要的是要疏堵结合，恩威相济，以疏为主，以恩为重，对自己的丈夫要温柔体贴，关怀抚爱，让男人充分感受都家庭的温馨、温暖，用自己的爱拴住男人的心。如果真的发现男人已经有翻墙出轨的行为，也不要大惊小怪和惊慌失措，更不能认为男人对不起你，便大哭大闹，非要男人向你低头认错，伏首称臣，这时候更需要冷静和智慧，应该心平气和地与丈夫好好谈谈，晓之以理，动之于情，导之其害，只要男人还对这个家有责任心，还珍惜这个家，还爱着自己，女人就应该用更体贴的爱来唤回男人的心，否则，你就会把自己的男人向外推得更远，甚至婚姻破裂。所以，聪明的女人应该知道如何把自己的男人管住、管好。衷心希望天下好女人都能幸福、快乐！
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